Horrible Days
by kakashikrazy256
Summary: "I-I've become a girl now, see?" Orihara Izaya's day does not start well. Which meant it was bound to end horribly too. FemIzaya


**Hey there guys :) This fic is based off of a doujin I saw on . Unfortunately the last page of it was unavailable so I never got to know the end. So this is my take on the doujin and I hope you will all enjoy. **

**Warning: OOC, some strong language and grammar issues. This is my first time writing for the Durarara fandom so please go easy haha~ Flames will be used to burn up Izaya's chessboard. **

He was tired as fuck.

That was the first thing on Orihara Izaya's muddled mind when he woke up.

Considering the fact that he had JUST woke up, there was no way in hell he should be tired as fuck.

Well, that helped narrow down the choices a lot. He muttered sleepily with a curse while rationalizing possible scenarios in his head.

Scenario number one: he had been kidnapped.

The information broker shook his head as soon as the idea popped into his head. Nah, it couldn't be. Orihara Izaya does not get kidnapped. It just didn't work. That would happen with ootoros fly, although the idea of flying sushi amused him greatly. Maybe he could call up Simon and they could attempt…okay he was going off on a tangent.

_Focus Izaya focus. Why are you still so sleepy?_ He told himself.

Scenario number two: He had been high or drunk.

He shook his head again. He rarely drank any type of alcohol. Not on a job, not at home either. And unless Namie-san had spiked his tea yesterday afternoon, he was sure he hadn't ingested any drugs either. Come to think of it, what was he doing yesterday?

Scenario number three: Shizu-chan had beaten the shit out of him and he had passed out in an alley.

Hmmm…now that was an amusing thought. It could be true too. That monster had been getting more and more violent lately. It wouldn't surprise Izaya at all if he had happened to stroll around Ikebukuro and got whacked in the head by a stop sign.

Maybe this was Valhalla. He moaned contently and buried himself deeper into the soft, warm object he was hugging. Clouds maybe? Or maybe even a sweet valkyrie's breast? ~

It smelled very familiar though…like his bed.

WAIT….

He wrestled his way out of the dark cocoon that was blanket.

_Crap…_He hissed at the sunlight that shined straight into his eyes.

_When did I fall asleep? Uwhaa…I didn't even change. I guess I was too tired yesterday….although I don't even remember falling asleep…._He thought with a groan and rolled over in his bed to stare at the ceiling.

The informant sighed and got out of bed, stumbling. Strange, his chest felt REALLY heavy.

He was too tired to think about it so he ignored it. But it was uncomfortable with the sudden extra weight. Well, he had to hurry up and get awake. Shiki-san wanted to meet up in Ikebukuro for a job. More chances of running into Shizu-chan. Joyful.

He could hear the sound of silverware and pots being used downstairs, which meant that Namie was already here, making breakfast. Izaya smirked to himself. The woman would always complain that she hated working for him yet she always arrived so early in the morning.

Izaya pushed the bathroom door open and ran a hand through his hair.

_Well since I'm going to visit Shiki-san today, might as well give her a ton of paperwork just to see that amusing glare of hers-_ His hand froze when noticed that the ends of his raven locks ended past his shoulders. No way in hell was his hair this god damn long.

He blinked and lifted a few strands up to his face. Long, soft hair stared back at him.

What. The. Hell?

His eyes widen even more when he noticed his hands. Hands that used to be calloused from wielding his flick blade were now soft and slender…and much smaller than he remembered.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa what's happening?! Come to think of it, his clothes felt really loose around his waist and shoulders.

He ran for the mirror above the sink and looked up.

His blood froze.

"NAMIE-SAAAAAN!"

"Tch…so noisy in the morning…" The secretary muttered while sipping her coffee.

"Namie-san!" He stumbled down the stairs in a panic, nearly tripping over his suddenly loose pants.

"You wake up late and now you're screaming about absolute nonsense. Can't you shut up? I better get paid extra for listening to you whine." She deadpanned, listening to the loud thud of the informant falling down the stairs painfully.

"You're so mean, Namie-san! Can't you at least face me when you talk? And notice how you're no longer talking to Kamiya Hiroshi's voice?" Izaya appeared at the doorway, breathing heavily.

"What?" Namie slowly turned around, her coffee still in her hands.

"I-I've become a girl now, SEE?" Izaya pointed to himself dramatically.

The former Chief of Yagiri Pharmaceuticals' face barely twitched at the ravenette's new appearance. She got up and studied her employer.

Orihara Izaya now had long hair and boobs.

She reached out and grabbed one with a squeeze while Izaya twitched in shock. Namie grinned inwardly at how her usually infuriating employer looked so flustered and speechless. She could totally get used to this.

"D-cup, not bad." She whistled, impressed.

"OH MY GOD, I hate this!" Izaya sank to the ground, pulling at the long locks of hair.

"Aaah~ this is not the daily life I wish to have…" He or rather 'she' sobbed dramatically into 'her' hands. He shook his head mentally. No, he REFUSED to be referred to as a SHE. It…it just didn't work.

"No…this kind of daily life doesn't even exist…" Because turning into a girl is obviously NOT normal.

Namie rolled her eyes subtly and crossed her arms.

"Oh come on, you probably ate some weird stuff or something."

"If eating something entices this sort of other-worldly bizarre reaction then I'll probably stop eating for the rest of my life…" He thought back to yesterday and tried his hardest to remember what he had eaten or did.

"Ahh…I was too tired yesterday so I didn't really ea-"

Something clicked in his mind.

"AH! I ATE SOMETHING! Y-You gave me that snack when you made me tea!" Izaya stood up at once, cursing when his…breast bounced slightly at the movement.

"Ah…." Namie turned around and went for the fridge.

"This?" She whipped out a box labeled 'Delicious Dumplings', all decorated in pink and flowers. The most distinct thing on it was a sticker of Kishitani Shingen at the corner, gas mask and everything.

"Oh MY GOD. YES. THAT." Izaya face palmed and pointed to the box in exasperation. You'd think a smart woman like Namie would find a PINK box in the fridge suspicious. The informant swore that woman is purposely trying to murder him. Oh course it would be Shingen. That crazy, old bastard always had something on his messed up mind.

"I'm gonna go over to Shinra's for a little while…" He turned around, fully intended to go beat up some scientist ass, stab some bodies, light some houses on fire and kick some puppies. Because he was literally that pissed.

"Ah…" He barely heard Namie's emotionless gasp, but he did feel the sudden cold draft on his legs.

"Eh?" He turned his head to see his black sweatpants hanging below his knees.

"….I'll lend you some clothes." Namie deadpanned with a practice poker face. _Boxers? _She observed the undergarment briefly. Damn, she was almost jealous. Her employer has been a girl for twenty minutes and his three sizes were absolutely to die for….not that she was checking him out or anything. How gross would that be? Her heart would forever belong to Seiji.

"Thank you…" Izaya sobbed mentally while he smiled on the outside, wanting to do nothing more than die in a hole in embarrassment.

**And there you go. The first chapter ;) I hope it was somewhat alright. Tell me if anything needs to be fixed and I'll try my best. Ne ne, who wants to see Shizu-chan in the next chapter? ~ **

**Reviews are appreciated~ See ya next time~ **


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